Thursday, August 17, 2000

I've been thinking a lot about broken eggs lately. Perhaps it all started when I found a carton where nearly all of the dozen eggs inside were damaged in one way or another; all of them with fractured shells or with their insides oozing out. It wasn't anything I really thought about at the time, but that's usually how things end up in my dreams. It's never the big event of the day; it's whatever slips to the back of my mind.
So that's where the dream comes in, made memorable only in its seeming randomness. I'm holding a pristine white egg and I'm turning it over and over looking at the shell. It even has the little bump that all eggs have. And suddenly I crack open the egg in my hands but there's only a shell. The inside is completely empty. A friend of mine (who seemed to be a real Freudian) seemed to know exactly what my dream was about. "The egg represents your fertility, the fact that you break it open and see that it is empty is symbolic of a fear of infertility."
I wasn't buying it. "That's too simple."
"How did you feel when you broke open the egg?"
"It felt kind of cool. You don't find eggs like that every day."
He seemed stumped.
The problem with Freud is that I don't think he ever understood women. He called us incomplete, but I think that's just because he couldn't see the extra pieces that were there. I'm young and I'm not necessarily thinking about reproduction just because I'm a woman, it's like assuming that all men find pleated skirts sexy. It just seems too obvious when an egg is a symbol of fertility; I'm not that boring.
Here is what I think my dream really means (if it means anything at all): I've had the blind urge to break something lately. Not anything serious, I just miss that little thrill you get when you pop the bubble pods in bubble paper. The problem with things when you break them is that you have to clean them up (in the case of things other than bubble paper). With the eggshell I got to break something without consequences. No sticky goo on my fingers, no glass fragments covering the floor. The shell just crumbled pleasantly in my fingers and presented no other fuss.

I don't know why I'm writing this, other than an urge to bash Freud. I'm starting to get frustrated with Erica Jong's Fear of Flying (this novel contains a very large Freud fixation). My friend Brian seemed to be very pleased with the book because he said that it helped him to understand women better. I hope that he doesn't mislead himself to think that all women think this way. It would be beneficial if this book taught him that women do indeed think of sex a lot, too. But I hope that he doesn't gather that all women are afraid to be alone. Books like that are dangerous in the hands of someone who thinks he knows more about women than he actually does and think that one book can demystify all woman kind.

posted by Alison 8/17/2000 09:43:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

Wednesday, August 16, 2000

I'm home now and I have noooo time. Less than a week til I go back home to DC and soooo much to do! I still have to pack and figure out what I'm going to take. I can't wait, but I wish I had planned better.

posted by Alison 8/16/2000 07:43:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

Sunday, August 13, 2000

I wrote paper journal entries while I was away from a computer. Unfortunately, my journal got a bit waterlogged and will have to be replaced, but the pen I used didn't run at all (thanks Clark!).

I was in New York today and now I'm on a Plane bound for Cincinnati. It had been so long since I'd flown into La Guardia (referring to my arrival on Tuesday) that I'd forgotten how gut wrenching it is. You sweep past Manhattan on your initial approach and for a minute you realize just how tiny that island is. It fits so neatly inside your little round window. Manhattan, the place where almost every American sitcom takes place; the place you think of when you hear the word 'city.' It is densely covered with 10+ story buildings so that they look like bristles on a toothbrush. And as the plane turns to land, New York rotates out of view until you are looking at some place much less magical, like Staten Island. After you finish this slow, graceful, dipping turn, the 727 suddenly falls out of the sky as the pilot dives towards the runway. Suddenly, the plane is skimming over the water and you can see it rippling under the wings. I almost thought that we would land like a duck, fold our wings and float gently until a rescue crew could save us. Not surprisingly, that didn't happen. The runway appeared abruptly, not like that whole water-beach-land combination that I'm used to. No, it was just water-concrete. Welcome to New York, or at least Queens.

posted by Alison 8/13/2000 11:56:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

Hello, sorry that I haven't updated for a while. I've been traveling because I know that it will be the last time I'll have a chance to do it for pleasure before school starts. I spent some time in New York looking at buildings and soaking in the smell, then I took a round about way to get to Nebraska (the third time I've been here this summer). I left LaGuardia airport at 6:00 am (after getting up at 3 am) and flew to Cincinnati. I thought I would be taking a flight straight to Atlanta, but I got bumped in Louisville, Kentucky. A few of my friends got very confused phone calls from me in the Louisville airport before I boarded a small charter plane and went the rest of the way to Atlanta. After a 3-hour layover I squeaked on to a plane bound for Omaha and now I'm here. I was supposed to go on a road trip to Kansas, but that was scrapped. Maybe that's a good thing, it's nice to be in a familiar place for a little while.

posted by Alison 8/13/2000 11:38:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

Monday, August 07, 2000

But a happy thing did happen today. I got the watch that I'd ordered, I was quite pleased that it came so early. It had a nice note from the folks at gallery one saying that I got the last one. I'm glad that I did: one of the exact same watches went for $52.50 plus $10 shipping and handling in a yahoo auction that I had been watching. I'm happy that I paid much, much less. And the best part: the watch actually fits my wrist even though it's a gentleman's watch. I have slim wrists and sometimes it's even hard to find a women's watch that fits me. Overall, I am very pleased with my purchase.

posted by Alison 8/07/2000 09:22:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

Sad, sad, sad. I got a call from the web-hosting people. It's turns out that they can't register domains from Iceland. I checked and .is cannot be leased out to individual people. So I checked around again and I'm going to try and claim The problem is that renting the domain itself will cost more than twice as much. Damn. It also happens that isn't taken. That's also tempting, but I'm not sure I want such a long name. Everyone, feel free to put in your two cents.

posted by Alison 8/07/2000 09:04:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

Oooooh!! I took the plunge; I finally bought a domain name for my very own. I had this perfect name stuck in my head "" Today I checked, and it was taken! I was horrified. How could anyone have been so careless as to steal my perfect domain name? But I found a perfect web hosting service who offered 50 megs for only $5 a month, plus a nice CGI Bin and lots of other goodies. So, I selected another top level domain. I decided on .is, the domain of Iceland. I figured that it was a good nation, it produced Bjork. So now my domain is This means that I'll be moving. I won't be leaving right away of course, but my journal will be in a much more accessible place.

posted by Alison 8/07/2000 02:01:00 AM : (0) comments : splink

Sunday, August 06, 2000

Since my parents were out of town, my brother thought it would be a good idea to have a half dozen or so of his closest friends spend the night. Due (at least in part) to their loudness, I ended up staying awake until 4:00 in the morning watching TV in my room while they made a ruckus downstairs. So what was on that late at night? Well, TBS was showing The Blue Lagoon from circa 1980. I had never seen it before, though I thought that it would have been one of those books/movies that would rank along side Hatchet as one of those things that everyone is forced to watch/read in middle school. Well, maybe the not so subtly implied teen sex is what kept my middle school from showing it. I was kind of shocked. I remember seeing the book in my elementary school library (hopefully I'm getting it confused with another book). Here is what Mr. Showbiz had to say about the movie: "This is the cleanest, most thinly disguised soft-core porn flick ever made." And even at 4:00 in the morning I was still wondering how the two leads can spend all of this time in the sun and never burn, or how Brooke Shield's hair can still look great even after 2 years on a deserted island, or even how you can spend three days floating on the ocean, in a row boat, with no fresh water and still look great. I really hope that book wasn't in my elementary school library.

posted by Alison 8/06/2000 02:24:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

Friday, August 04, 2000

I should have known better than to drive home in 5:00 Friday traffic. I keep on thinking that I'll be killed every time I drive home. At least I won't have to do that for the rest of the summer. I didn't feel like driving all the way back to my house, so I went school supply shopping. Happiness! I love school supplies, all those crisp notebooks, pens and folders available in a rainbow of colors. I bought a box of 10 Crayola markers for ¢84 and 10 fluorescent Ross markers for ¢77 (they make great highlighters). There were bottles of Elmer's glue selling for ¢24, but I didn't really need glue, so I passed that one up.

When I was in Eckerd's looking at the sale on loose-leaf paper, a little girl walked up to me. She said, "You're hair is so pretty and long, can I feel it?" I didn't know what to say, so I kneeled down to her height and let her feel my hair. She petted a lock like it was a kitten. "It's so soft." I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and said "Thanks." Kids are so cute, especially when they like my hair.

posted by Alison 8/04/2000 08:54:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

I'm done with finals. I had my discrete math exam today. I was severely rattled going into it, my professor gave the class the last test grade right before she handed out the exam booklets. I hadn't gotten a very good grade and I only had about 5 minutes to look over my mistakes. I got over it (I hope) and maybe I'll just make it over the borderline for that 'A'. And I'll need it, too. I've decided to apply for a Goldwater fellowship. The dilemma is that I have to submit a GPA for every college or university that I've ever attended, and that includes ones that I've attended as a transient student. Hopefully my GSU transcript doesn't look that bad. The fellowship is going to have stiff competition. It's going to be scary, I've never had to write a research proposal before.

posted by Alison 8/04/2000 08:19:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

Wednesday, August 02, 2000

My advice to the world:
Though taking 10 semester hours in 6 weeks doesn't sound too bad, trust me, it all catches up to you during finals. I finished one today. I have two for biology tomorrow (separate lab and lecture tests) and my last one for diserete systems on Friday. I took one final for Sociology today and walked out without even bothering to get my grade.

I just have to keep reminding myself that this will all be over soon and that I'll have a few weeks to relax and travel before going back to Washington. (Sigh) This would be a great time to have a time machine.

posted by Alison 8/02/2000 09:05:00 PM : (0) comments : splink

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